happy, stressed & coming out | Book Bi-Weekly Update

I watched a pink sunset like this one on one of the first days we moved into this village, and now there was one again as I’m packing up and about to leave.

New book posts:

Other books I’ve been reading:

  • Wild Beauty by Anne-Marie McLemore (DNF’ed)
  • Fence by C. S. Pacat (graphic novels)
  • Big mushy happy lump & Herding cats by Sarah Andersen (graphic novels)
  • Unleashed by Sophie Jordan
  • (Don’t you) forget about me by Kate Karyus Quinn
  • An enchantment of ravens by Margaret Rogerson
  • Sweet evil by Wendy Higgins (SOOO BAD.)
  • Once a witch by Carolyn MacCullough

Reviews coming as soon as possible!

Added to TBR:

  • A million Junes by Emily Henry (YA magical realism)
  • The seafarer’s kiss by Julia Ember (queer girls retelling of the little mermaid, bi main character)
  • Labyrinth lost by Zoraida Gordova (witch, bi girl protagonist, latinx)
  • How to be Remy Cameron by Julian Winters (gay protagonist, I already loved reading “running with lions”)
  • The Last Namsara by Kristen Ciccarelli (ya fantasy with DRAGONS!)

Posts I’ve loved by other bloggers:

Three things on my mind:

  • No one should feel ashamed for not being out as queer/gay because it’s not safe or not right for them at the moment. I’ve seen this highlighted more often this year by out gay celebrity and others, which I think is so extremely important. But also – I came out as bi to my mom yesterday (as I’m writing this at least). I’ve been out to friends from a few months to over a year, but a lot of things held me back. I’m extremely close with my mom, we’ve been through some tough times as a family in terms of illness. I never felt like I was hiding my sexuality before, even if I hadn’t made it explicit. But then its place in my life grew which – along with various other reasons like moving away for university – brought a sense of urgency. It went down well, even if it brought a bit of shock. The timing felt absolutely right, which is all I wished for.
  • Along those lines, I feel like the term “bi village girl” is one I’ve favored much this pride month and this (last) week I finally finished my last (postponed) exam, two weeks after everything else was done. I got top grades and soon I’m only a village girl by heart, as I move on to university. I need to write a love/hate post about living in a tiny community of 1000 people, because aaaaaa it’s been a peculiar road. Waking up at 5am for three years, commuting an hour each way by bus on tiny roads, in every climate and snow-chaos – it’s all over. Which hasn’t really set in yet. Most of the novel I’m working on was created in my head on those very nauseating mountain roads.
  • One of the other reasons I’m genuinely happy: I read books instead of cramming for exams. There was too much shit going on, first I was supposed to have my math exams and started studying for that. Four hours later it’s cancelled because of this big scandal of miscommunication. A week passed and I was so tired of everyone’s shit and also in bad shape physically as I just threw in the towel and escaped into books, and it still went great. I’ve turned around my grades since starting the month of march at the hospital and I’m genuinely proud and shocked over what I’ve been able to accomplish.

This has been a long post, but I need to add another note to it. Things are shitty sometimes. Things will be shitty, actually soul-crushingly shitty, in the future. I really find peace & worry in believing that “everything is temporary”. Still, right now, I’m also proud and relieved, maybe even with sizable time-chunks of happy. And with every bad thing that happens I find comfort in knowing that I’ve gained experience in how to handle it if something similiar hould happen in the future. Dealing with crises makes you better equipped for dealing with future crises. And in the meantime, which is now, it’s best to worry as little as possible, and to do as much of what feels right, honest and great.

This type of bi-weekly update has gone from my least liked post by others to one of the most liked, which I really appreciate ❤

5 thoughts on “happy, stressed & coming out | Book Bi-Weekly Update

  1. Tammy June 26, 2019 / 3:20 pm

    It sounds like you have an adventure ahead of you! I’ve always thought of moving as an opportunity to start over. 😁

    Liked by 1 person

  2. alexreadsboooks June 30, 2019 / 7:47 pm

    I’m glad your coming out went well! It’s always relief when it does, isn’t it?
    Also thanks for sharing my posts! I’m glad you enjoyed them ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • aquapages // eline June 30, 2019 / 11:19 pm

      It was definitely a relief, at this point I was just more proud that I didn’t just go away to university without having come out. Also my mom made a very negative comment on pride parade the day I’d decided to do it so there was like an hour of complete freakout on my part before I decided I knew she would react well enough 😅


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