Start of 2023 TBR: fantasy, poetry and … climate change?

I post so rarely that I’m amazed people still read these posts, but thank you and please share what books you are excited for this year.

Fantasy

• Harrow the Ninth (The Locked Tomb #2) by Tamsyn Muir. I loved the first book, I’ve been struggling to get through this one to be honest.
• Babel by R. F. Kuang (also dark academia): going in pretty blind, but hoping for the best.
• A Vampire’s Redemption (The Inquisition Trilogy #2) by Casey Wolfe (queer): the first book was great!
• The Library of the Unwritten by A. J. Hackwith: I don’t remember who described this as a morally gray type of character doing the trope of “coming out of retirement” and returning to power, only that protagonist is also a librarian.
• Arcanum Unbounded by Bradon Sanderson: a collection of Cosmere stories.
• A Master of Djinn by P. Djèlí Clark (queer): I’ve heard so many great things about this debut fantasy set in Cairo with murder mystery and secret societies.

Poetry

• Lunch Poems by Frank O’Hara
• Closer Baby Closer by Savannah Brown (released in february)
• War of the Foxes by Richard Siken

Classics, memoirs and essays

• Frankenstein by Mary Shelley (classic): I’ve tried getting through this book once already, I love the experience of reading it, but it’s so dense I struggle to get into it (more so than other classics even, idk why?).
• The Lonely City: adventures in the art of being alone by Olivia Laing (essay/memoir): I wanted to read this when moving away from university, but it’s like four years later now.
• Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom (memoir): I do not know anything about this book, but it appeared on my tbr shelf somehow.

Nonfiction and science

• Immun by Anne Spurkland (in norwegian)
• Firmament: the hidden science of weather, climate change and air that surrounds us by Simon Clark
• The Story of More: how we got to climate change and where to go from here by Hope Jahren
• Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer: this book keep being referenced in so many science podcasts I listen to!
• Friends: Understanding the power of our most important relationships by Robin Dunbar

Personal project / rant

I don’t really do new year’s resolutions, but a type of personal project this year is read or watch more indigenous stories. Probably it would be mostly Sami related, as that’s the indigenous group I have closest knowledge / association with. Last year two separate things were in the national news here around the same time. The first was the question of how far climate change activists were willing to go, in terms of violence against property and/or people. The more I read of the discourse, the more I hated the existential negative parts which never pointed out successful past campaigns (like those fought by indigenous people for their local environment) or had any future strategies in mind. Because I get that climate change has gotten to the point where it is going to be bad anyway, but if you want to be an activist you should have thoughts on how you think it can be better, for your own well-being if nothing else. It hightlighted to me that the values which you base your «ideology» on matters. It’s too easy otherwise to fall into elitism, or the «the world would be better with less people in it» or, you know, eugenics.

Anyway. The other thing in the news a lot was Sami politics where there’s proof non-sami (and right-wing) people were encouraged to meddle in indigenous politics. Mostly to undermine rights and use of land or for financial gain, as far as I understood. And that also often has an enviromental side. It brought up the question of who is Sami «enough» to vote on Sami politics here, but the norwegian government has pretty well-defined requirements. And some fall outside of those, even if they would consider themselves Sami, so that is another debate. But personally I do fill every requirement to be considered part of that registry of Sami people. So I feel like it’s natural that I’ve come to a place where I want to know more.

On the science side, I’m taking atmospheric physics and climate change as a course, which has been great so far.

Best Queer Fantasy I’ve Read the Past Year

I’ve read so few books this year and am in the middle of exam season, but I always know pride month is around the corner from the increased interest in my queer book posts. That said, there’s always this difference, if a somewhat diffuse one, between great fantasy book with some queer characters and great queer fantasy. This list has a bit of both.

City of Strife by Claudie Arseneault

This was a book I reread this year, because it’s so unique in what it manages to do as a high fantasy. All the characters are queer; bisexual, demi, pan, poly, gender fluid, agender, asexual, aromantic is all represented in an overall ruthless and amazing magical city. I might have a big weakness for main characters who take the time to observe the world around them, is a thief or assassin, but also cares deeply for their friends and features platonic love. It’s politics, merchant families, rivalry. The plot builds so naturally on the personalities and choices made by these characters and their lives intertwining by living in the same city. It has quite the list of trigger warnings though, so be careful to check those. It is quite the ruthless city, which makes the constant focus on characters interacting with each other and the reality of the place so special.

Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas

I really would have loved this book as a middle school kid (or even younger actually). It’s a queer romance between a Latino trans boy and a gay boy, featuring murder mystery and ghosts. It’s fast-paced, funny, cute and dramatic, with a somewhat predictable plot which is why I don’t really think it fits into the older end of YA as it was marketed as.

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

The tagline for this book seems to be lesbian necromancers in space, which would be correct. It’s very much a love it or hate it type of book, because you’re thrown into the plot and have to start paddling to keep up with the characters. It does a great job turning into an unusual fantasy book even though it’s set in a fairly usual setting of deadly competition. The writing and character personalities are fantastic, as well as the well-hidden system behind the magic – not to forget the enemies to lovers (maybe) of the main characters.

Foundryside by Robert Jackson Bennett

It’s a great fantasy book where the main character is sapphic and has a crush on a brilliant assistant she meets. It has thieves, heists, magical technology, Merchant Houses that controls the city and has created capitalist monopolies. The writing is very straight-forward for this type of book, and makes it very accessible and an easy read despite being high-fantasy and having great world-building.

The Traitor Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson

Baru’s island is taken over and controlled under an empire that believes heavily in eugenics, ruthlessly changing the society as they see fit (including forcing queer couples apart) and placing the kids in terrifying boarding schools. And Baru plays the waiting game for revenge for her family which they murdered, as the colonizers clothe her and educate her in what they see fitting. Definitely a brutal fantasy, but more so in the cultural impact and strategies than the wars of high fantasy. It’s very much debating morality of if ends justify means, as Baru gets more ruthless and morally-gray in trying to achieve revenge. It’s a book about not losing yourself and, despite being “othered”, Baru always reconnecting with where she is from, with the fact that she’s a lesbian being a big part of that.

Silver in the Wood (Greenhollow Duology #1) by Emily Tesh

I was a bit unsure about this book while reading it, but I’ve been thinking about the vibes of this book since reading it. It has this cottagecore, forest aesthetic that really has a grip on me, with stories of the Wild Man of Greenhollow and the secret-folklorist that comes upon him. It’s short (112 pages) and manages to deliver on the fairytale-ish forest, magical realism vibes in the writing, but plot-wise, character-wise, etc. it does come up short to me. The m/m relationship and yearning could’ve been better as I didn’t quite feel it delivered on its potential, but it was worth the read looking back.

Mask of Shadows by Linsey Miller

I very much feel like this is the queer & way better version of Throne of Glass with its deadly auditions to become the Queen’s new assassin. What was a pleasant surprise was how the protagonist never was very vicious in their thought-process or tried to defend their actions, their reasoning behind taking lives were very business-like and unapologetic. The protagonist Sallot is gender-fluid using she and they pronouns based on how they present. Despite having a good start-point, the fantasy built on somewhat cheesy and typical fantasy plotlines that makes it very much YA fantasy, lacing in world-building or description and it’s a bit half-finished type of book.

This book brings me to a dilemma because it personally felt similiar vibes to “Ship of Smoke and Steel” by Sjango Wexler in the protagonist’s voice. But that book handled the queer aspect a lot worse including just not writing good female characters, while having a more interesting world powered by magic. So while Miller’s book wasn’t the best fantasy book I’ve read, I would rather recommend Miller’s book than Wexler’s.

Honorary mention to the (mainly) horror podcast “The Magnus Archive” which in their last season has an asexual relationship between two guys.

Exciting New Book Releases | Start of 2022

We’re already a month into the year but here we go –

Firmament by Simon Clark

Release date: 27. January 2022

Why I want to read it: The first book by Simon Clark, which is exciting. His explanations of climate change are always great and easy to follow, and I should probably get to reading this soon as motivation before my atmospherical physics and climate change exam this semester :))

This Woven Kingdom by Tahereh Mafi

Release date: 1. February 2022

Why I want to read it: I usually like Tahereh Mafi’s writing and would love a Persian mythology inspired fantasy story from her. So I hope this isn’t just another generic ya fantasy series, despite the title and cover.

Other People’s Clothes by Calla Henkel

Release date: 1. February 2022

Why I want to read it: It’s an unusual pick for me, but I want the promised thriller showcasing the “dangerous intensity of female friendships”, murder and morally gray characters.

Lakelore by Anna-Marie McLemore

Release date: 8. March 2022

Why I want to read it: I don’t have the best track-record with getting as much into McLemore’s books as I would want to, but both the book’s premises, the magical realism and the writing of them are usually amazing. And I can’t keep away from the promises of “two non-binary teens are pulled into a magical world under a lake“ in this book either.

Portrait of a Thief by Grace D. Li

Release date: 5. April 2022

Why I want to read it: a heist novel! Featuring a heist I even deem very acceptable; stealing back pieces of art and people’s belongings displayed in Western museums stolen under war and colonialism. More specifically a group of Chinese American college students (one lesbian, one queer) are stealing back Chinese sculptures and pondering the ethics of it.

Kaikeyi by Vaishnavi Patel

Release date: 26. April 2022

Why I want to read it: The protagonist Kaikeyi “transforms herself from an overlooked princess into a warrior, diplomat, and most favored queen, determined to carve a better world for herself and the women around her”, which sounds like a powerful and interesting story. It’s a Ramayana retelling with an asexual protagonist. I’ve seen some reviews disagreeing to such a prominent villain being retold as anything else, but as someone unfamiliar to Hindu stories that’s hard to assess.

a long-delayed gender crisis

tldr; gender is strange and complex, and so is mine ..?

SO. I’m bisexual, which was something I did not realize before a lot later than most, and when I definitely did I went like – “we’ll put that off for later”. Now, during the whole of COVID-19 being a major thing in my life, for twelve long months, I’ve been putting off somewhat of a gender crisis.

I’ve definitely used the time to make up some thoughts around it, but it took me a year and a half being around mostly guys to realize it might be not just my sexual orientation that makes me feel set apart from other women. For most of my daily life these days, gender is just not something I think about when it comes to myself. My pronouns (she/her) are fine, for now. But if someone does point me out as a girl or woman, it much more often than not makes me have a real internal freak-out. A good example is someone pointing out I’m the only woman in the room (as I study physics, it happens more often), usually another girl, and I’m physically uncomfortable no matter how well or casual they mean it. I think it took me a while to separate the issue of speaking about women in STEM, of which I have thoughts because I grew up as one, and me being identified as a girl. Like I can speak to having certain experiences as being perceived as a woman, but that does not mean I go around thinking about how I am one, if that makes sense. I recently heard a trans woman say “I was fine with being a boy, but not a man”, and that makes very much sense. And come to think of it, the reason I am to a degree comfortable right now without major changes is because – without having explicitly dicussed it – the friends around me (mostly guys) goes out of their way to brand me in a neutral way. A classic example is friends of friends coming over and using me as an example as a girl in their conversation. Immediately my guy friends, from the most masculine one to the gay one, tells them I’m both a bad example of a girl/woman and a shitty example of a human being in general. (A bit of hazing comes with the territory. They mean well.) That’s a bit on the light side, but in general they have enough time to come up with arguments towards me being split into the neutral/guy-ish category, no matter if I’m sitting there with a bunch of other girls in the room, wearing something very feminine like a dress or my boyfriends is there. And they don’t know the extent, but it means a lot.

It’s fun watching nonbinary & genderqueer people explaining their experiences online and then switch to me sitting alone in a corner of my room going like “same, same”. True facepalm moments, trust me. Going forward, I think my gender questions will be on standby while I feel it out. Maybe I’ll experiment with some clothes, as I sometimes like being very feminine and sometimes want to be very much more masculine presenting. For the most part, and this has been pointed out to me multiple times – my clothing and appearance just does not in any way express my personality anyway. It’s probably bad in meeting new people, but hilarious and also helps in this gender question in a strange way. I do really switch between liking my boobs and hating them intensely, but I cannot fucking wear a binder because I already have serious lung problems. That would probably be the first step I would’ve taken, otherwise.

There’s also this one issue I need to sort through soon, which is that I look most feminine when I’m truly going through a difficult period of time. It’s a bit darker and more complex one. A good dash of it is something about how we view gender, like I have chronic illnesses where I lose weight when they flare up and that makes me look a certain way. (Btw, the critique of The Queen’s Gambit main character’s breakdown as being too glamorous made me laugh bc I’ve looked my worst and best at truly awful periods of time. It all depends.) Maybe I do more skin-care then, because I find it soothing. There’s also more fun reasons, like loving anything that sparkles more or jewellery or colorful dresses/skirts because they give me a needed moment of joy. But then there’s also being more alone and dealing less with new people who will perceive me as a girl based on a dress, which do bother me, I just don’t know to which extent yet. If we were to delete the whole gender thing fully and think of it as at the very least more in less/more masculine/feminine with no harsh boundraries, I would feel a lot better. Like all the nonbinary-questioning tiktoks say; mostly I want to look feminine, but like guys can. Or pirates. Ah, to be a 17th century type of pirate, only now. Maybe that’s the aesthetic goal I should go for.

So in conclusion, I’m doing the same thing with my gender as I did with my sexuality; realize when I was young it was something different and then repress it without truly knowing. My mom grew up a tomboy and gave me all the freedom she could for me to do what I wanted; which was to have friends that was girls, but then get bored and run away to play football. I hated my body changing when it did, then just arrived accepting that this body is what I had to deal with and now is somewhat uncomfortable yet again. Still, I do think accepting there’s something genderqueer here is the right step. But also that how I present now is somewhat comfortable enough.