updates

Tv series w/ flowers, bookclubs & bloodshed| Bi-Weekly Update

aquapages // eline2 Comments

New book posts:

Other books I’ve been reading:

  • A lot of graphic novels! Post coming up.

Added to TBR:

  • The music and the mirror by Lola Keeley (lesbian ballerinas)
  • First position by Melissa Brayden (more lesbian ballerinas)
  • The lady’s guide to celestial mechanics by Olivia Waite (historical lesbians)
  • Almost home by Madison Kuhn (poetry)
  • Please don’t go before I get better by Madisen Kuhn (poetry)
  • Shame is an ocean I swim across by Mary Lambert (poetry, queer, tw for suicide and rape and probably more)
  • Her royal highness by Rachel Hawking (f/f romance, ya, enemies to lovers trope)
  • A matter of disagreement by E. E. Ottoman (m/m romance, trans mc, fantasy)
  • Wolfsong by T. J. Klune (fantasy, m/m romance)
  • Aphrodite made me do it by Trista Mateer (queer poetry)
  • Valkyrie by Sophia Elaine Hanson (poetry)
  • Damage control by Jae (lesbians)

Three things on my mind:

  • I’ve fallen in love with aesthetics like dark academia, light academia and cottagecore all over again. Mainly because I miss my homes, both the one in the valley village I left for university (cottagecore all the way), and the new one I created at university studying physics (where academia longing sets in).
  • In the same mindset I recently found two TV series and then the inspirations behind those, and didn’t realize before later how polar opposites they are. For the first time in a while I’ve been posting on my tumblr (same name) again, mostly about these.

“Deadly Class” is extremely violent and (kind of) dark academia, just with assassins and found-family trope. What got me hooked on this series is how much the main character reminds me of Neil Josten when arriving to the team in The Foxhole Court by Nora Sakavic. They’re equally lost, traumatized & untrusting of everyone. The comics are simply multiple bloodbaths (truly, be warned!) as they continue where the cancelled-after-one-season TV series left it. Definitely search up trigger warnings before getting into it. It’s as far from young adult things you can come while also taking place in a boarding school.

“Anne with an E” is the polar opposite, just pure periodic drama, which isn’t usually my thing, but this has enough queer rich aunts and a girl who can’t stop creating stories, along with flowers and cottagecore aesthetics ft. a lovely bookclub hut built in the forest. It certainly has its darker hardships as well as a farming community tries to survive, but I have one season left and I’m going to savour it. Newly added to my favourite TV series.

  • I wrote about platonic love in my review of the graphic novel I Think I Am In Friend-Love With You by Yumi Sakugawa and since it’s been roaming around my head. I really think we need more platonic love things and reminders. Like I love the found-family trope, but it doesn’t really dive deep enough into that special bond that exists usually. There’s a reason many love the “I would die for you” friendships of the Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo.

Let me know how your quarantine is going! Link a post talking about it if you want to.

let’s hate everything for a little while | Bi-Weekly Update

aquapages // eline4 Comments

New book posts:

Other books I’ve been reading:

  • By grand central station I sat down and wept by Elizabeth Smart
  • An unquiet mind by Kay Redfield Jamison
  • When we collided by Emery Lord
  • The midnight lie by Marie Rutkoski

Added to TBR:

  • It’s kind of a funny story by Ned Vizzini (mental illness, tw: suicidal mc)
  • The shadows between us by Tricia Levenseller (new YA fantasy release that I’ve seen a lot of praise about): also has a female mc that is trying to marry and then kill the current kind, wooo drama)
  • City of ghosts by Victoria Schwab (middle grade or YA fantasy/paranormal): set in Edinburgh and especially Mary’s Close which was my highlight of my trip there!
  • When we were magic by Sarah Gailey (new YA lgbt witch fantasy): it promises queer witch girls and a good friendgroup.
  • The story of more by Hope Jahren (science book about climate change): the author already proved she could write with the fantastic Lab Girl, so I’m really looking forward to this book
  • Catch and kill by Ronan Farrow (nonfiction; about sexual predators): I didn’t know Ronan Farrow was the journalist behind publishing the Weinstein case before recently

Three things on my mind:

  • I’m not doing good in the middle of this. I wasn’t doing good going into it. Just got in touch with therapist again after radio silence since I left the city three weeks ago, so that’s good. I might’ve also gotten corona? Or it could’ve been any awful infection or worsening of any condition I had, but I was so incredibly ill for a bit over a week. I’m currently taking it one hour at a time, trying to not force myself to see this as extra time I should use to be productive, because there’s an epidemic out there and everything is difficult for everyone. Stay safe.
  • Our exams is still on; but from home and most of our grades are changed from A-F to pass/not pass. It’s so incredibly difficult to do things, but the external university stress at least brings some degree of familiarity. It’s funny how this whole year I’ve been like “as long as university stress is my without-a-doubt biggest source of stress, I’m going to be able to do this”. I was thinking about personal mental and physical health, as well as family trouble, but well shit, who would’ve counted on a epidemic. It’s also funny how before this really went downhill, I was convinced something big was coming and that the future months looked like a dark hole and why bother planning for anything. I talked about it with my therapist, I was like “what kind of depressive anxiety is this” and then it turned out to be real.
  • Two youtube recommendations; the amazing Conan Gray dropped an album, and Hank Green conveys a connection I’d been pondering on – how his (and mine) crohn’s diagnosis and this corona outbreak changing the ordinary carries a similar feeling

(Pre-corona times) wine trip | Bi-Weekly Update

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Hey, this post was created a couple weeks ago actually, and I somehow never posted it. So I’m going to create a newer one, with all this corona stuff really impacting my life as it does many right now, but enjoy this light-hearted one hahha. Also my france/germany trip was before outbreaks happened in the area.

New book posts:

Other books I’ve been reading:

  • The stranger by Albert Camus (currently reading)
  • On earth we’re briefly gorgeous by Ocean Vuong (currently reading)
  • Night sky with exit wounds by Ocean Vuong
  • Felicity by Mary Oliver
  • Soft science by Franny Choi
  • Ordinary beast by Nicole Sealey
  • Corazón by Yesika Salgado
  • When We Collided by Emery Lord

Added to TBR:

  • Loveless by Alice Oseman (ace! character! and fantastic author)
  • Red, white & royal blue by Casey McQuinston (gay royal romance)
  • Akata witch by Nnedi Okorafor (YA fantasy)
  • Freshwater by Akwaeke Emezi (magical realism & mental illness; fractured sense of self, set in Nigeria)
  • How to make a wish by Ashley Herring Blake (YA f/f romance)
  • Crier’s war by Nina Varela (queer fantasy; i’m promised f/f romance, bisexual and lesbians and enemies to lover trope)
  • Come to the rocks by Christin Haws (mermaids with f/f romance)
  • Storm in a teacup by Helen Czerski (science! physics! this could be very good or very bad)
  • Tesoro by Yesika Salgado (poetry)

Three things on my mind:

  • I’m still doing this physics first year of university thing, funny enough. Is it crazy that I thought I would fail before now? It’s not going great overall, but I really like the physics and uni and friends part. One reason it’s not going great overall; I’ve been sick. A bit of a physical illness. But mostly, looking back, my productivity has been greatly damaged by mental illness as well, leading to general inconsistency. Ah yes, I was also diagnosed with a mental illness this week. Which I didn’t think would happen? But it made sense and oh well, it’s going to take some time to get used to having a label on my troubles.

  • I was in France!! And Germany!! Drinking wine!! With this physics & maths wine club I’m in. I became a real wine enthusiast on one (1) trip, and two wine tastings. I also might’ve smiled too wide at the table when the last and most fancy wine expert basically GURGLED his wine, like in parodies. AND MY BOYFRIEND, GERMAN-SPEAKING, HAD TO TRANSLATE THIS GUY SAYING IN A STERN VOICE “THIS MIGHT SEEM STRANGE, AS THE YOUNG WOMAN IS LAUGHING, BUT IT HELPS TO -” (insert expand surface and tastebuds and all that explanation). I was too many glasses of wine in and too entertained to be embarassed, but it was embarassing. And beautiful – the whole trip. The most embarassing moment, for who I’m not sure, happened while we were all learning about making wine, from someone who had more humor. My best friend said what I itched to say, but decided not to; “oh we make wine too”, pointing to the leader of the group. And he had to swifly try, and fail, to explain is that our university wine club’s wine is not made from grapes picked carefully and hundreds of year’s of expertise; but y taking basically grape juice, adding yeast and trying to get a high alcohol percentage. I smiled the whole rest of the tour, while the wine expert repeatedly turned to our leader and spoke to him like he knew the process, waiting for the moment we were alone and my best friend to get yelled at. It was all I hoped for. Lesson learned; don’t expect a bunch of physics & math students to take the social cue in any situation.

  • So the trick to read more books again is to take a flight to France/Germany (it was the border, so we were both places), as well as be just sick in general and forced to relax aka read.

christmas isn’t easy & lots of reading | Bi-Weekly Update

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New book posts:

Other books I’ve been reading:

  • I’ve been rereading the All for the game series, obviously
  • Call down the hawk by Maggie Stiefvater, the first book of the new Dreamer series about Ronan Lynch was amazing
  • The vanishing stair by Maureen Johnson, the second book of the Truly Devious series was a great read as well
  • Six not-so-easy pieces by Richard Feynman wasn’t really what I expected, as I was surprised at how much I’ve absorbed of physics lately, but it’s a great intro book to physics concepts (a sequel to six easy pieces if you will)!
  • Physics of the impossible by Michio Kaku (currently reading)
  • Elantris by Brandon Sanderson – just finished!!! I’m confused by my feelings toward this book, I need some time to think. But while Sanderson is great at worldbuilding, I felt the characters and the world lacked something in comparison to his other books.
  • The Impossible Knife of Memory by Laurie Halse Anderson (young adult).
  • Borderline by Mishell Baker (review posted!)

Added to TBR:

  • A lot of textbooks for the many classes I want to take, but don’t have time in my schedule for (I’m already two math classes over the average amount, let’s see if I have to cut one during the semester)

I rewatched the poet Rhiannon McGavin’s 2018 books to read, which made me add a lot more books to my TBR:

  • Wanderlust by Rebecca Solnit (nonfiction, essay)
  • A Handbook of Disappointed Fate by Anne Boyer (poetry, essay)
  • Look by Solmaz Sharif (poetry)
  • Loose Woman by Sandra Cisneros (poetry)
  • The Vanishing Princess by Jenny Diski (short story)

And then I watched The brain scoop’s Emily Graslie recommend science books:

  • The Rambunctious Garden: Saving Nature in a Post-Wild World by Emma Marris (nonfiction, science)

Three things on my mind:

  • I watched the Looking for Alaska mini-series and while Alaska herself wasn’t like I saw her first reading the book, I really overall liked the series. It had it flaws, but it could’ve been done so much worse and the essence of the story was there. It definitely was enough to make me cry, twice.
  • I’m not in my own tiny apartment because it’s christmas. And I’m not “home”, as in the family house I left from this summer, because my family moved. In other words, there’s a lot of things I hate about this christmas time already (it’s an inconvenient time to be sick as a chronically ill person), and now I don’t have any of my privacy or comfortable things. I do love seeing my family, and all the love going around. I just really miss the small amount of stability I’ve built up around myself during the past months, and I miss my friends.
  • But! I expected this christmas break sadness to fall upon my fragile self! (or fragile mental health, this girl is doing something about that first thing next year). And I took precautions by booking a trip to Edinburgh so I wouldn’t be (hopefully) too long in one place. This has brought with it its own stress, but I’m so excited to go. I would be happy to take any advice if you’ve ever been to Edinburgh!

a row of failed book posts. and seeing a psychologist. | Bi-Weekly Update

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Ok, I hope I don’t have to specify how those two things were unrelated.

The lack of uploads are because of *drumroll* – me not reading anything! YEAH. NO. I hate it, but you know – starting university. My first meeting ever in a book club was a while ago and it went great, I talked mostly not about books with other people, but also lent out my copy of my favourite of Mary Oliver’s poetry collections; “A thousand mornings” (review linked) so I see that as a success. Anyway, we’re supposed to start with discussing “1984” by George Orwell and I haven’t even gotten to opening that book, let alone one I actually want to read.

New book posts:

Failed book posts:

So, I started a lot of book posts this summer and then I either didn’t finish them and let too much time pass or I just realized they existed, and they might be published soon-ish.

  • Shatter Me reread!!! It really held up, I loved it so much the first time and nearly equally much this time. I don’t know how many times I’ve read it now. I’m still amazed by how nuanced and morally gray all the characters are, and how amazingly Tahereh Mafi describes Juliette’s feelings of isolation and her transformation and personal change through the series.
  • Also I read Restore Me by Tahereh Mafi, the 4th book of the series. I never wrote that review either, mostly because I read the books so quickly that I mixed them all together in my head.
  • “Why I love the ocean” is a post I’ve had in the works for so long and never really got the final edit down on. I’m just going to force myself away from it and publish it as unfinished as it feels. There’s some things that just always could be made better.
  • Two other books I loved, but apparantly never reviewed??? (Don’t You) Forget About Me by Kate Karyus Quinn and Running with Lions by Julian Winters.
  • Lab Girl by Hope Jahren was my all year favourite book, and probably a review will be posted towards the end of the year – but I’ll have to reread it because I was so immersed in thinking about that story I forgot to write any of those thoughts down! I can’t recommend it enough, especially for people who want to look into one scientist’s life and made me so excited for university, even though I’m studying physics.
  • Posts about ways I try to declutter my way-too-long TBR
  • I started a series of posts called “reading my lowest rated books (on goodreads)” to find out the reasons behind it, but then I just stopped reading in general soo… some other time it will be a good idea?

Other books I’ve been reading:

  • Six Not-So-Easy Pieces by Richard Feynman (about physics, it’s the only thing I can allow myself to read right now hahhha). Six Easy Pieces (the first book in some ways) was a really good intro to physics for anyone.

Added to TBR:

IT’S THREE MEMOIRS! I love listening to memoirs on audiobook (it’s basically the only type of audiobook I really love), so I’m looking forward to this.

  • Over the Top by Jonathan Van Ness
  • Permanent Record by Edward Snowden
  • Antoni in the Kitchen by Antoni Porowski

Three things on my mind:

  • This last week sucked so badly, because of migraines. I’m really going to have to pull myself out of studying and doing fun things and put more effort into taking care of myself and getting myself to the doctor(s) to change some medicines.
  • About taking care of yourself; after moving by myself one thing I’ve really realized is that no one around me yet recognize how difficult certain things are for me. It should be a given, but it wasn’t. Mainly the small things. I made myself do the work necessary for paperwork connected with illness and hospital this week. I made myself agree to getting my first every appointment with a psychologist be moved up, even though I was freaking out for two days thinking about nothing else. I made myself go there, to be honest. And then it took a few more steps, with the guidance of that psychologist, to get me into the right place for more evaluation and eventually treatment. I’ve felt horrible all week, physically and mentally. But I did that. And I’m proud of myself for it.
  • Also I realized after that I really needed that first psychologist to believe me, to say that something was wrong with the way that I felt. Even though I knew she needed to refer me to someplace else, as her field is more general student problems and depression/anxiety, I needed that first person to agree with me that I was experiencing dissociation and to say what I was afraid of and call it (a most likely, and trying to be vague) disorder stemming from traumatic experiences. I don’t think what I brought to her table was what she expected that thursday morning, but I don’t feel too bad because of how intrigued she looked towards the end, trying to figure out which symptoms I was experiencing.

First weeks at university | Bi-Weekly Update

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So I made a tiny update half a month ago, and then disappeared again. Well, it’s probably going to happen more this coming weeks. It’s currently 2 am, because that’s when I have actual time to myself anymore. Let start with some book things –

I’ve posted two scheduled posts, not even worth mentioning. What is more interesting is how I found “On Dublin Street” by Samantha Young from a twitter aesthetic photo, and started reading it immediately. It’s a not-at-all-well-written smut, but it was something to get me starting reading again between huge textbooks. In the beginning of August I also read and really liked the heavier and much more thought-provoking pieces of work that is Karamo’s memoir and Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan.

I’ve joined a book club on campus!

Or I’m going to, next week. I’m so excited about how cozy it’s going to be, and I’m definitely bringing blankets, sitting there sipping tea discussing books in real life for the first time in forever.

I’ve started university, first year bachelor in physics

My main worry was going into university with heavy courseload right off the bat, without time to get to know people. Well – yes and no? The first week was without many lectures or school, just a lot of info, but a completely full social program, meaning I was barely home from 8 am to like 2 am the next day. And then came a week with both MORE lectures than usual AND social happenings all the time (but luckily less partying, or at least I toned it down a lot). I’ve gotten to know the smartest, most inclusive, most nerdy (I really love how nerdy we all are) people. I really missed from high school the fact that, while I did have friends that cared about their subjects, I wanted someone to discuss things with that were genuinely interested in how and why behind science and not just focused on doing well to get into med-school or memorizing things.

I also live in a huge building with my own bathroom, but sharing kitchen with 14 other people. And while it does sound terrifying, it has gone okay (it’s still too dirty, we’re working on it), and it’s lovely to come home to people when you’re so far away from family. We have one international student among us, a master student from India, and he talked about how he hoped we would become a big family-like group. And I really hope so. I really connected with one girl and her friend the first day here, and she noted all of us living here were acting like “very introverted siblings who have care and warmth for each other when we meet in the kitchen, but all scatter to their own rooms straight afterwards to do their own things”.

I’m sorry to say I have had no time to catch up on people’s blogs! I miss writing reviews the most personally, and really hope things will calm down a bit sooner rather than later. It’s such a weird feeling being in this situation because every routine in my life has to be made from scratch, and until now I’ve had no regular schedule to work with. And also my room has been a mess of trying to find things packed in boxes. And I’ve been up to 2 am too often, and actually twice until 7 am, discussing books and the most nerdy shit at parties. While I’m not quite similiar to all the people I study with, I really find myself at ease among them.

Also, believe it or not (my parents surely don’t), I’ve already spent a lot of hours with my head in textbooks and chewing on pens trying to solve the same math problems for the past hour and getting ten different answers that all aren’t quite correct. (Fuck you, matrices). While I’m a physics undergraduate, I’ve got two math, one physics and one IT subject this year. It’s already been joked about how I, still using my fingers to count most of the time, managed to get into uni. Oh, how I wish I could calculate large numbers immediately as some I’ve met here. I’ve been warned by master students that this one physics course is THE TOUGHEST course they’ve taken (considering the level of knowledge they had at the time) and that the only good advice they can give is to just stick with it and never give up. So I’m planning on taking it one step at a time, trying to get to that finish line of first exams in December in one piece. But also, besides the book club, the math/physics students also have a lot of other things going on, of which I’m definitely joining producing 400 L of what’s called “wine” (with the quotes, yes I’m suspicious as well, something about making it from a concentrate).

In general, I’m so up in the skies, and so damn tired, that I really don’t know what to expect going forward. It’s been a lot this past month and while I’ve adapted to situations out of need this quickly before, I’ve voluntarily put myself out there and never before grown as much as a person as a result. Who knows, might be temporary.

Back to the books!

Added to my TBR recently:

  • The Incendiaries by R. O. Kwon (contemporary fiction. I saw something by the author on twitter – can’t remember what – that made me very interested in this book)
  • Wild by Cheryl Strayed (nonfic memoir)
  • Ninefox Gambit by Yoon Ha Lee (sci-fi, space opera)
  • Conservation of Shadows by Yoon Ha Lee (short sci-fi/fantasy stories)
  • Bloom by Kevin Panetta & Savanna Ganucheau (lgbt YA graphic novels)
  • Sea Witch by Sarah Henning (YA fantasy, mermaids)
  • Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race by Reni Eddo-Lodge (nonfic, feminism, race, politics)
  • Educated by Tara Westover (memoir)
  • Both these books were brought up and recommended by someone I got to know, so even if they’re quite out of what I would normally read, I’m hoping to pick them up and hopefully find some really interesting points in them

a calm summer bookish update

aquapages // eline3 Comments

I made a summer 2019 TBR & a summer goals post, so let’s see how badly things have gone there now that my vacation ends in under a week.

Goals update

What I was afraid of didn’t happen; I was (kind of) healthy throughout the summer! What I didn’t expect was last year’s summer of nearly dying haunting me this much; every time I go in the shower I remember not being able to twist my body or raise my arms above my head because it feel like my chest would burst with pain, every time I go into the ocean I remember how cold the water felt last year and how I had to use minutes to go slowly into the water, because the cold naturally makes you breath deeper and shiver, which set of incredible amounts of pain, even on heavy pain medications. I was too proud when I was eventually back to jumping straight into the ocean.

  • Redesign graphics: no progress made, hehehe. I’ve tried, but when I’ve had the most free-time I didn’t have a computer because 1) first I didn’t have internet and 2) my last computer broke down. It’s still just excuses though, I just haven’t gotten around to it.
  • Get a routine to my writing: I’ve thought a lot about writing, but gotten no actual writing done. Which I feel surprisingly not bad for, it might’ve helped to talk to a published author a few years older than me that was like “I’ve gotten money to write this book already, and I’ve written a total of 5000 words this whole summer”. Aaahh, the stress that must be.
  • Get a routine to my day (because otherwise I fall apart): yes and no. At the start of summer I was really struggling because I’m that much of a distracted person who forgot to eat. Like honestly forgot, until the evening. I’ve gotten better with the eating and in general, I guess.
  • Pack for vacation and then moving: finally something I managed to do. It took more work than I would’ve guessed, but I managed to sort out all my belongings and am going to pack my final two bags for the move one of these days.
  • Start training: yes!!! although not how I expected. I thought I would sign up for a gym or a yoga class, but I’ve been very physically active outside and with family. I’ve got some football-loving-nearly-went-professional freaks of some brothers and cousins, mainly everyone but me, and I’m better than I expected?? for not playing for two years?? Trying to keep up with them was all I did during summers growing up though.

Summer TBR update

I’ve ordered the books, so I’ve been staring at them all summer, but I’ve barely read any of them it feels like. There was 11 books on my TBR and I’ve started two of them…

This was a small selection, believe me

Currently kind of reading:

The best book of the summer: Lab Girl by Hope Jahren

Looking back

Sometimes the summers aren’t as productive as I would like, but why the hell would I beat myself up for it, instead I’ve tried to look at the factors that contributed to that. In this case, I think I needed to relax way more than I thought, and I wasn’t aware how long it would take to get to that point of “I’m safe, I can let my guard down, I can take care of myself while not stressing about this and that”. But I did, so it’s been a great summer even if I wished I got to see more of my friends or catch up on more projects. It hasn’t by any means been a picture-perfect time with a bunch of exciting stories to share, but that’s okay. Hope your summer has been great too, and if not, that you’re at least not beating yourself up over it.

Denmark, you were windy as always, but at least I got (0.002 of) a ton of tea – yes, i’m hugging it. Everything has been smelling of tea since.

books, life, uni & stuff | Bi-Weekly Update

aquapages // eline4 Comments
I’ve read exactly 0 of these books I brought with me

New book posts:

Other books I’ve been reading:

  • Alex’s Adventures in Numberland by Alex Bellos (currently reading)
  • Karamo Brown’s memoir (currently reading)
  • Lab Girl by Anne Hope Jahren
  • Spin the Dawn by Elizabeth Lim

Added to TBR:

  • On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong (lgbt fiction/poetry)
  • Teen Titans: Raven by Kami Garcia (graphic novel)
  • Season of the Witch by Sarah Rees Brennan

Posts I’ve loved by other bloggers:

I’ve just returned from nearly two weeks on an island with limited internet connection and a laptop that had its final breakdown (it was bound to happen, I had to get a new one) – sooo I haven’t been able to see through all your great posts!

Three things on my mind:

  • I got into my first choice at university, a physics bachelor programme! I don’t know if I’ve said it here before, probably I have on the twitter I just randomly changed from reposting animal videos from scientists to bookish things. It’s still a lot of cute animals. Anyways, news spread fast that I was moving for uni and I went from having researched physics programmes for years in secret, to having secretly applied, gotten in and is now suddenly forced to proclaim it to everyone who knows me?? It’s a weird feeling. I’m also very excited and nervous, but that feels obvious. In less than two weeks I’m going to be hauling all of my belongings that I can fit in two suitcases to a new city.
  • I started to write something else here; it was about this summer compared to last year’s summer. I think I need to write its own little post on that because the tears started to fall as I remembered how I – still occassionally needing those heavy pain killers after surgery – forced myself to get through Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson, and loved (mostly) every part of those 1248 pages.
  • Currently watching Queer Eye s4 and both the “disabled, but not really” episode and the girl figure-skating was really good and brought tears to my eyes – for different reasons. I also downloaded and watched Tales of the City, which had its weird moments, but I really liked overall. It’s such a story about queer people coming together and forming a family through being in the same neighbourhood, without steering away from heavier sides of being queer. It was fun, queer and filled with drama and love. Euphoria is such a good, queer, mature series as well from what I’ve seen! I first heard of it from the “scandals” of amount of dicks and drugs visible, but oh this series doesn’t disappoint in showing darker teens’ lives with heartbreak, addiction and trauma.

The Start of Summer | Book Bi-Weekly Update

aquapages // eline1 Comment

I started this past week with spending the whole day celebrating a family birthday and exhausting myself completely, for then to meet up with an old best friend among a lot of strangers. It was definitely worth it in the end, but I was honestly strangely (for me) anxious before getting there and it could’ve gone a lot better. It’s worrying how I go back to being a more uncomfortable and more socially anxious person when I’m back in my old hometown. Hopefully I’ll be able to work some on that this summer.

A summer night spent grilling with (new) friends

New book posts:

Other books I’ve been reading:

I reread of the first three books of the Shatter Me series by Tahereh Mafi: Shatter Me, Unravel Me, Ignite Me, as well as Restore Me

When the Moon Was Ours by Anna-Marie McLemore (currently reading)

Lab Girl by Hope Jahren (currently reading)

Queens of Geek by Jen Wilde (DNF at 25%. It’s just not for me? I really tried. Also I found out that fictional fanbases are some of my worst pet peeves.)

Added to TBR:

  • Highly Illogical Behavior by John Corey Whaley (YA contemporary, lgbt, mental illness)
  • Furyborn by Claire Legrand (YA fantasy, bi/pan mc)
  • Soft on Soft by Mina Waheed (f/f romance, contemporary)
  • Nation of Rebels by Joseph Heath and Andrew Potter (nonfic, politics)
  • Find Me by Tahereh Mafi (novella)
  • Defy Me by Tahereh Mafi (Shatter Me #5)
  • Space Boy by Stephen McCranie (graphic novel)
  • As Many Nows as I Can Get by Shana Youngdahl (YA contemporary romance)

“In one impulsive moment the summer before they leave for college, overachievers Scarlett and David plunge into an irresistible swirl of romance, particle physics, and questionable decisions.” ‘Particle physics’ is in the synopsis so here I am, wanting to give it a try, haha.

  • Every Heart a Doorway (Wayward Children #1) by Seanan McGuire (YA fantasy, mystery, lgbt w/ asexual mc & trans boy) – it’s compared to Miss Peregine’s Home for Peculiar Children and I’ve read reviews describing it as ‘disturbing’ so that sounds promising!
  • Song of the Crimson Flower by Julie C. Dao (YA fantasy) – I still got to read Forest of a Thousand Lanterns, but I’ve got time as this is released this upcoming fall.

Posts I’ve loved by other bloggers:

  • Andy Winder gave great recommendations for 12 LGBT YA books with transgender protagonists.
  • Library Looter wrote a list of bi/pan MC book recommendations, which is where I found both Soft on Soft and Furyborn.
  • Cotton Candy Book Witch wrote a june rewind which was where I found Space Boy, Every Heart Is a Doorway, Song of the Crimson Flower and As Many Nows As I Can Get. My TBR is never going to decrease, is it? It’s good I’ve upped the pace I read, at least the last two months.

Three things on my mind:

  • I watched Rocketman (the Elton John movie) with my brother & dad and it’s sooo good and unexpected. So different from Bohemian Rhapsody, which I also loved, but it was quite another type of story. Personally I felt this focused more on trauma and dependency, drugs & dissociation as bad coping tactics. Like when Elton John felt like his life had gone too much into drugs and crazy, his idea of normalcy was to become like his more A4 parents and marry a woman, and then gradually you see his idea of normal change through his life until he gets the happier ending and accept himself as gay and ‘weird’. The portrayal of the suicide attempt was so well done. I also really liked the surrealism used to show how Elton was out of it at times because his life was such a grand chaos and also the amazing pacing, with putting a lot of images into a short amount of time. Will definitely have to watch this movie, or at least parts of it, over and over. I might also have been very enthusiastic when my 15 year old brother suggested the movie, because he’s lately shown tendencies to change himself to become more accepted and is about to start a new school. I hope watching media where people are different & accept themselves no matter what is a good counterweight to outside pressure. Also Elton John songs might’ve been playing the last four days straight, which I take as a good sign of it working.

  • I succeeded in packing up all my belongings before going on vacation to the other side of Norway. I both hated & loved it – I really like to be organized and I got to try out Marie Kondo’s Decluttering tactics for real. It was also kind of meditative, but at the other side it was too many memories and choices to be made. Also it took a goddamn long time.

  • I know I made summer goals, but I’m not going to even look at them before next week – when I’m in the countryside of Denmark with all the time in the world to read and study for the upcoming year. The only goal I currently remember is buying a year worth of tea in Aalborg! Also I’m currently walking/cycling everywhere and playing a lot of Wizards Unite and Pokemon Go like the nerd I am. Add me – Wizards Unite 2758 0361 7116 and Pokemon Go 9460 5606 5208.

happy, stressed & coming out | Book Bi-Weekly Update

aquapages // eline5 Comments

I watched a pink sunset like this one on one of the first days we moved into this village, and now there was one again as I’m packing up and about to leave.

New book posts:

Other books I’ve been reading:

  • Wild Beauty by Anne-Marie McLemore (DNF’ed)
  • Fence by C. S. Pacat (graphic novels)
  • Big mushy happy lump & Herding cats by Sarah Andersen (graphic novels)
  • Unleashed by Sophie Jordan
  • (Don’t you) forget about me by Kate Karyus Quinn
  • An enchantment of ravens by Margaret Rogerson
  • Sweet evil by Wendy Higgins (SOOO BAD.)
  • Once a witch by Carolyn MacCullough

Reviews coming as soon as possible!

Added to TBR:

  • A million Junes by Emily Henry (YA magical realism)
  • The seafarer’s kiss by Julia Ember (queer girls retelling of the little mermaid, bi main character)
  • Labyrinth lost by Zoraida Gordova (witch, bi girl protagonist, latinx)
  • How to be Remy Cameron by Julian Winters (gay protagonist, I already loved reading “running with lions”)
  • The Last Namsara by Kristen Ciccarelli (ya fantasy with DRAGONS!)

Posts I’ve loved by other bloggers:

Three things on my mind:

  • No one should feel ashamed for not being out as queer/gay because it’s not safe or not right for them at the moment. I’ve seen this highlighted more often this year by out gay celebrity and others, which I think is so extremely important. But also – I came out as bi to my mom yesterday (as I’m writing this at least). I’ve been out to friends from a few months to over a year, but a lot of things held me back. I’m extremely close with my mom, we’ve been through some tough times as a family in terms of illness. I never felt like I was hiding my sexuality before, even if I hadn’t made it explicit. But then its place in my life grew which – along with various other reasons like moving away for university – brought a sense of urgency. It went down well, even if it brought a bit of shock. The timing felt absolutely right, which is all I wished for.
  • Along those lines, I feel like the term “bi village girl” is one I’ve favored much this pride month and this (last) week I finally finished my last (postponed) exam, two weeks after everything else was done. I got top grades and soon I’m only a village girl by heart, as I move on to university. I need to write a love/hate post about living in a tiny community of 1000 people, because aaaaaa it’s been a peculiar road. Waking up at 5am for three years, commuting an hour each way by bus on tiny roads, in every climate and snow-chaos – it’s all over. Which hasn’t really set in yet. Most of the novel I’m working on was created in my head on those very nauseating mountain roads.
  • One of the other reasons I’m genuinely happy: I read books instead of cramming for exams. There was too much shit going on, first I was supposed to have my math exams and started studying for that. Four hours later it’s cancelled because of this big scandal of miscommunication. A week passed and I was so tired of everyone’s shit and also in bad shape physically as I just threw in the towel and escaped into books, and it still went great. I’ve turned around my grades since starting the month of march at the hospital and I’m genuinely proud and shocked over what I’ve been able to accomplish.

This has been a long post, but I need to add another note to it. Things are shitty sometimes. Things will be shitty, actually soul-crushingly shitty, in the future. I really find peace & worry in believing that “everything is temporary”. Still, right now, I’m also proud and relieved, maybe even with sizable time-chunks of happy. And with every bad thing that happens I find comfort in knowing that I’ve gained experience in how to handle it if something similiar hould happen in the future. Dealing with crises makes you better equipped for dealing with future crises. And in the meantime, which is now, it’s best to worry as little as possible, and to do as much of what feels right, honest and great.

This type of bi-weekly update has gone from my least liked post by others to one of the most liked, which I really appreciate ❤