Genre: sci-fi & humor
First off I finally got a kindle cover! It’s slytherin green!
Turns out, humans aren’t the only sentient creature in the universe and they’ve come to realize that. The people of other planets are questioning if the humans are even sentient. They’re going to have to prove it, through a contest. After a war that nearly tore the galaxy apart the other planets went together and created an intergalactic song contest, because song is what the universe is made of obviously. The “new” planets is obligated to join. But if they lose they have proven they’re not worth keeping around, so they will be eliminated completely, the species along with the planet. Humans doesn’t even get to choose their contestants, it’s the one hit then forgotten band Absolute Zeroes who has been chosen to represent Earth among these murderous aliens, musical geniuses or divas.
Rating four out of five:
I was confused about was going on most of the time, could not keep the aliens or even human characters apart, thought one of the main characters was a man instead of a woman for most of the book (turns out it wasn’t the bromance i thought) and have to admit that the writing is an aquired taste, perhaps for the crazy and adventorous. But I was blown away by this book and how entertaining it was, a type of book that I’ve been looking for a long time. It’s all over the place and funny, with some morals here and there if you’re looking closely and parts to analyze. Everything seems just thrown in, and I love the style. It did certainly become better after the first twentyfive percent so hang in there if you’re confused.
First tip when reading this book: do not try to understand everything on the first read through! You will use forever, the writing won’t flow and you’ll be frustrated. Just let go and enjoy the ride, especially if english isn’t your first language and so many weird words than usual, in so many strange settings throw you off. Which leads to tip number two: read this book in your first language, if possible. It will be difficult to follow anyway, from someone who has read almost exclusively english books the last seven years.
This book was marketed as this crazy, colorful, intergalactic Eurovision song contest with the name of Metagalactic Grand Prix. If you’ve ever seen eurovision and enjoyed it, this book might be for you, especially if it’s the drama, costumes and stage show that is entertaining. Because that’s what some of the aliens live for, which is so funny. Some just kill each other or others, which is why they got the contest, to “unite” aka keep an eye on each other. Politics is wonderful in these kinds of things. There were so many times I wondered if the author Valente was drawing parallells to reality and social commentary, but I could not stop reading every time, so I guess I’ll have to go back and reflect a bit more. I like her writing from other books, which was what drew me to this one, but I could not imagine the creativity and originality I would find.
On the other side there’s another marketing thing I think went wrong for this book; comparing it so obviously to “the hitchhiker’s galaxy”. Valente says herself that it wouldn’t have been made without it in a way I loved: “Without Hitchhiker’s Guide, this book would simply disappear in a puff of logic. Good lord, without Hitchhiker’s Guide, I would disappear in a puff of logic.” But it sets an expectation for a format she doesn’t have, which I think mainly is the reason for bad or average ratings I’ve seen. You need to go into this book willing to be confused and entertained.
For some of this book I feel like the hilarious, sarcastic cat who found herself on a spaceship, away from earth:
“Thus, for her, the voyage passed by like a training montage in a hastily made feel-bad film, in bits and flits and pieces the feline found it far too much work to understand or care about.”
The humor in this book is definitely my cup of tea … of coffee? “But you’ve just never had better coffee than the fair-trade organic late-harvest darkest of dark roasts at a Voorpret espresso bar. And you don’t nuke that sort of thing from orbit. It’s just so hard to find a good cappuccino when you’re traveling.” The humor is dark, and often packaged in pretty words or situations. I love when the song contest is on and the contestants are plotting against each other.
The feeling this book gave me: being a confused tiny creature laughing out loud at how the book reflects so many parts of life and irony in the darkest things, how the erratic writing style match my brain a lot (but might be even more extra)
Here’s some parts I love, I mean watch out for spoilers,but if these won’t get you to read the book, it might not be for you:
“Mainly because the original Flus had broken off from the collective consciousness ages back, conquered everything he could get his blades on, and replaced the local gene pool with his own personal microbrew, so not only were they a hive mind, but they were all clones as well, and Muntun was, in point of fact, Planet Hitler, 100 percent populated with telepathically linked, genetically identical, sociopathic knifeasaurus dictators.”
“Oh, I had a fantastic time talking to the depressive socialist moonbeam. After fifteen minutes, I actually asked it to kill me, but I was informed that would be nonunion work. Then Capo tried to eat it, which did not go well. Did you know my new best friend is trying to put four wee moonshines through university on a tradesman’s wage? It’s a daily struggle.”
“Life is beautiful and life is stupid. As long as you keep that in mind, and never give more weight to one than the other, the history of the galaxy, the history of a planet, the history of a person is a simple tune with lyrics flashed on-screen and a helpful, friendly bouncing disco ball of glittering, occasionally peaceful light to help you follow along. Cue the music. Cue the dancers. Cue tomorrow.”